Christmas is a time to connect with our loved ones and celebrate the gift of giving. But for many people it can feel the opposite. Being separated from family and loved ones – either due to work, loss, or conflict – can make Christmas a time of unhappiness and loneliness.We might feel disconnected from others, as though nobody really understands us, listens to us, or values our company.
The holidays can be a difficult time if we are feeling like this and don’t have supportive people in our lives. But there are simple strategies you can use to help manage feelings of loneliness.
Here are some ideas to get you started this holiday season.
Think differently about feelings of loneliness. Like all negative emotions, loneliness is an important and valid part of human experience. Loneliness tells us that we crave connection. It comes from a part of ourselves that wants to reach out to others. If we never felt lonely, we might never recognise just how important meaningful relationships are to us.So a good first step in managing feelings of loneliness is to think differently about how we see them. Rather than viewing these feelings negatively and being hard on ourselves, we can choose to see loneliness as coming from a healthy part of us that is motivated to connect with others. Reframing loneliness in this way can help us feel better about ourselves and more positive about seeking out meaningful relationships.
Reconnect with yourself. If we find it hard to connect with others, or genuinely don’t have many social opportunities, then a good place to start is to try connecting with ourselves first. When we’re taking good care of ourselves, we are more likely to be positive, and feelings of loneliness may have less power to get us down.There’s no right or wrong way to do this. A great starting point is to try brainstorming some ideas for activities that make us feel good and then start doing them.Some suggestions are writing down your thoughts in a journal, going for a walk, spending time in nature or simply having a cup of tea in a beautiful cup. Try planning one nice activity for yourself every day and keep a record of how it made you feel. If you build some momentum with these activities before the holidays arrive you might find you are able to coast a bit easier through those moments when you are feeling lonely.
Reach out to others. Feeling lonely during the holidays is never easy, and reaching out to others can often seem difficult and scary. But it’s important to talk to people in your life at this time of year and let them know how you’re feeling.You can do this in whatever way makes you feel comfortable. It might be as simple as a text message or a phone call.
Or you might want to catch up with your family or a friend one-on-one. You can also jump online and connect with an online community for support. The SANE Forums are operating over the holiday period and are a great way to connect with others living with or caring for a loved one with mental illness.
You can even join the virtual Christmas Feast, a social gathering from 6pm AEDT on Christmas Day.There are also a number of great online and telephone services such as Beyond Blue and Lifeline that are available if you need someone to talk to. And if you are struggling with persistent sadness and loneliness, it’s always a good idea to seek professional help from a GP, psychologist or counsellor.
** The Salvation Army and The Australian Psychological Society’s (SA Branch) launched 'SalvoPsych’, a project to help marginalised and disadvantaged people receive psychological assessment and intervention, as well as counselling and other support, in addition to that already offered by the Salvos. - You can learn about SalvoPsych in The Affordable SA App**
Christmas is a special time of year but it can be especially hard on those who are less fortunate or alone. Thankfully, there are groups that organise lunches for people on Christmas Day. If you are or know some one in this situation , please find a list of service providers attached
Community
1. Contact your local Salvation Army and ask about the Christmas Cheer Program
2. Seek out which church based organisations are offering Christmas day lunch in your area
3. If don’t want to feel the financial pressure of Christmas Day, consider volunteering your time on Christmas Day to help others
4. Contact your local council, community centre or library to see what free Christmas activities are offered in your area during the Christmas period
5. Visit your local op shop for Christmas supplies
6. If you are considering buying a pet as a gift for Christmas, consider adopting from a rescue centre
Food
7. Buy in bulk and split the cost with friends and/or family members
8. Start buying non-perishable groceries now
9. If you know that there will be non-perishable groceries that you will need for Christmas, buy 2 of them when they are half price, that way you will have one for now and one for Christmas
10. Instead of an expensive hot turkey, consider a non-traditional, southern-hemisphere inspired Christmas Day menu of cold meat and salads
11. As most supermarkets are closed on Christmas Day, pay them a visit the night before right before they close to see what food has been discounted
12. It doesn’t snow this side of the equator on Christmas Day, so take Christmas outside. As an option, suggest that everyone bring a salad or a packet of sausages to cook on the public BBQ at your local park.
13. Instead of trying to buy (or make) a Christmas pudding, consider making a ‘non-traditional’ ice cream cake
14. Consider using accumulated supermarket loyalty points to buy your Christmas food
15. Instead of hosting a Christmas lunch or dinner, consider the cheaper option of a Christmas breakfast (no turkey required)
16. Avoid Christmas hampers that have year-long payment arrangements. You can end up paying a lot more for items compared to if you purchased them outright.
17. Don’t feel pressured to serve ‘traditional’ food at Christmas time. In Japan, it is tradition for around 3.6 million families to get a ‘holiday party bucket’ from KFC on Christmas Eve…
18. Instead of buying a whole turkey, ham or chicken, consider buying separate cuts of meat (e.g. legs, wings, roasts, etc.)
Presents
19. Commit to a budget. Draw up a table with who you are buying for and how much you can afford to spend on each person. Do not go over your budget.
20. If the children in your family are getting older, consider the option of a Secret Santa (each person is responsible for only one gift)
21. Take advantage of the extended Christmas shopping hours. There will be less people around, which means you may feel less stressed and rushed
22. Don’t feel pressured by others, or yourself, to buy Christmas presents you cannot afford
23. Wrapping paper can be expensive. Consider newspaper, material, cellophane, brown paper, etc
24. Consider baking cookies or making a Christmas pudding as alternative to buying someone a Christmas present
25. Consider making homemade pickles, jams, preserves and giving them as gifts
26. Only go shopping for Christmas gifts when you know what you want to buy – avoid impulse purchases that are not within your budget
27. Save money on buying Christmas cards by sending your Christmas greetings electronically via email, text or social media
28. If you are creative, try a DIY present – soaps, candles, a knitted scarf, a tie dye t shirt, a photo frame, a painting, etc
29. Consider giving the ‘gift of time’ to someone. Create a coupon book of activities that you could do together in the future (e.g. watching a movie of the other person’s choice)
30. Do not put yourself in financial hardship just so you can buy what others consider to be ‘the most amazing, best Christmas present of 2021’… it will be something completely different by Christmas 2022
31. If you don’t know what to get someone, consider a small charity donation on their behalf
32. Consider giving gift cards instead of actual gifts
33. Avoid the temptation of getting ‘quick, easy’ money through pay day lenders to buy Christmas presents
34. Recycle Christmas wrapping paper and gift bags from previous years
Decorations
35. Get your children involved by making your own Christmas cards
36. Buy your 2022 Christmas decorations on or after Boxing Day
37. If buying a new Christmas tree is not in your budget this year, consider designing and building your own
38. To give the traditional ‘Christmas tree’ a modern twist, decorate an indoor plant
39. Make your own table decorations – i.e. use a roll of wrapping paper as a table runner or pick foliage from your garden
40. Make your own Christmas stockings by decorating old pillow cases
41. Use newspaper and craft paint to make a home-made Christmas garland
42. Choose solar Christmas lights over electric
43. Do not put yourself in debt trying to make your house look like something you saw online. You don’t need to make people believe that you live in a European, snow covered cottage…
Budget
44. Are you a casual employee and does your work place close over Christmas? Make sure that you have funds saved up to cover essential living expenses over the Christmas break.
45. Do not put yourself into financial hardship for the sake of others. If you cannot afford to attend a Christmas function, it is ok to politely decline the invitation.
46. It is inevitable that there will be people out there that will spend more/less than you at Christmas. Remember to work within your budget this Christmas
47. The weather at Christmas time can be extremely hot. Consider doing a home energy audit on your air conditioner/cooling system to see the amount of electricity it uses and what it is costing you
48. For Christmas 2022, consider putting money away each fortnight into a separate bank account
49. Create a Christmas spending budget and keep track of food, presents, decorations, etc
50. Try to avoid using the money you would spend on essential living expenses (rent, electricity, etc) to pay for Christmas. This will catch up with you when Christmas is over.
Where does the time go? Only 7 Days until Christmas!
Time to pick-up last-minute gifts and prepare for celebrations with family and friends. There’s presents to wrap, food to make and lots and lots of little jobs that can make it a very busy time.
Christmas Finances
The tricky thing about the festive season is that life doesn’t stop. Your real estate agent will still direct debit your rental payment, your electricity company will still want your quarterly bill paid and your telco company will still demand your BPay payment on a set day of the month.
With the added expense of Christmas, the end of the year can put a lot of pressure on people’s financial situation and unfortunately here on the Affordable SA helpline we tend to see the aftermath at the start of the new year.
Being part of the billion-dollar Christmas debt hangover is no way to start the New Year. If you are struggling with your expenses call the Affordable SA Helpline on 1800 025 539 to speak to a Financial Counsellor.
You can also find a range of programs that can help here:
https://affordablesa.com.au/programs/money-and-finances
Food for Christmas
Have you got enough food for you and your family this Christmas?
There's still time to access food pantries and emergency relief, but be quick as services may be closed, providing limited service or have different hours during the Christmas and New Year period.
A food pantry offers free or low cost food and groceries to the community. Find a local Food Pantry here:
https://affordablesa.com.au/programs/food/food-pantry
You can find local, emergency relief here:
https://affordablesa.com.au/programs/food/emergency-relief
You can also call the Affordable SA helpline to be connected to services near you that can help. Call the helpline on 1800 025 539
A Christmas Together
It's also an important time to check in on people you know who may be experiencing loneliness or hardship.
Spare a thought for your elderly neighbour who lives alone, your friend who is experiencing financial hardship, your relative who is going through a separation or your co-worker who is struggling with depression.
If you know someone who finds this time of year especially difficult, consider reaching out to them to show that you are thinking of them.
If you or someone you know finds this time of year especially difficult, services such as Lifeline are available 24 hours a day 7 days a week to take your call on 13 11 14
https://affordablesa.com.au/programs/health-care/lifeline
Have a Merry Christmas South Australia
From everyone at Affordable SA, we wish you a very merry Christmas and all the best for 2021!